STONEHENGE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

MIDLOTHIAN, Va. — Kalshi went down Thursday morning, and the Stonehenge Fantasy Football League would like to state for the record that it had nothing to do with it, while also acknowledging that it had everything to do with it.

The contract in question: “How many times will Craig say ‘that’s a really good pick’ during the 2026 draft?” Line opened at 41.5. It did not stay there.

Volume was described by one exchange observer as “not consistent with a twelve-man league in Chesterfield County.” Money came in from three states. Somebody in Ohio took the over at 60.5 and would not explain himself.

For the uninitiated: Craig is a Bills fan, a man who has absorbed five decades of heartbreak and emerged determined that everyone else should feel good about their choices. At every draft, after every selection, by every manager, Craig says “that’s a really good pick.” Not to the good ones. To all of them. In order. For five hours. It’s the only tradition here nobody complains about.

He said it to a kicker in the eleventh round. He said it to a player who retired in March. He said it to Patrick twice for the same pick, because Patrick needed to be told what he’d done.

The market broke at pick 74.

“We were fine through the third round,” said one bettor familiar with the situation. “Then somebody realized he also says it to himself.”

“This never happens at the Moose,” said one disgruntled bettor who refused to give his name, stating only, “I’m a man. Talk to my attorney.”

Kalshi restored service within the hour and voided the contract, citing “an inability to establish an authoritative count.” The league’s own tally — kept by JB, who volunteered and then declined to disclose his methodology — reads 68, with an asterisk beside three instances where Craig may have simply been clearing his throat.

Complicating matters: Craig is a highly sought-after timekeeper in youth basketball leagues across the region. The man is trusted with a clock. Multiple gyms request him by name. He has, by all accounts, never blown a horn early in his life.

“He’s the most reliable counter I know,” said one league official. “Which is why it’s so upsetting that nobody can figure out how many times he said the thing.”

Craig, reached for comment, called the reaction overblown.

“I’m just being supportive,” he said. “It’s a fun league. Everybody’s doing their best.”

Told about the over/under, he paused.

“That’s a really good line,” he said.